[It's Almost] A New Year...

...And I'm the worst blogger ever... although calling me a blogger at this point might even be a stretch, seeing as I don't blog for months at a time, these days. But I'm here now, aren't I? And that's what you're getting! Life just gets busy. So let me tell you about it. How interesting.

So the transfer to my new school has been an adventure, to say the least. It sucked at first, I'm not going to lie. Started off with a good cry into my breakfast on the first day of school because I was so terrified, but it's steadily progressed in a positive direction since! I joined a women's philanthropic/social club (hi, we're not a sorority, so get that outta your head) part way through October, and that has been the best thing to happen to me since... well I don't know what since, but it's pretty freaking great! I've made so many great friends through it, and had some really stellar experiences so far. I'm even the Pledge President (I'd just like to state again: not a sorority) so I get to be that extra bit more involved. I got to do the decorations for our semi-formal. It's a big deal. Actually, that did end up being a pretty big deal. But that's for other reasons that you'll probably pick up on later.

I'm on holiday from school right now, but I'm really looking forward to heading back to the city for second term. Well, for New Years, really; and to spend time with those types of people you want to spend time with, of course. I've set goals for school, have a busy social schedule with Phrateres (the lady club), and some other particularly lovely things to look forward to outside all that. So in general, the New Year is looking like it's going to be a good one! And I'm so excited to see what happens! As long as it's only good stuff. I'm not excited for the inevitable bad bits. But that's life!

Packing... so much packing...

So here we are again - I feel like I've spent the whole of the last year and a bit in some stage of packing or unpacking... having moved from my hometown to my parents new house, two months later moving across the country, packing for various trips back home through the year, packing to move back across the country, unpacking what was left over from moving from home, and now packing to move to my new place in the city! Oh my goodness, you have no idea how excited I am to put down some permanent [for at least for three years] roots in two weeks! No more wondering at which home, and in which box my favourite zip up hoodie is! I'm looking at it right now. This hoodie was of particular concern for me this past year, turns out it was in a suitcase of random clothes that didn't fit me anymore!

The shared closet with my sister might be a little... interesting... but that's what storing out of season clothes is for!

In other news, I have my booklist - and it's way less than I thought it was going to be! Sweet deal! And I applied for my student card, so that should be ready for when I get to town at the end of next week - so I can pick up my transit pass, and be so ready for school on the 4th! I also took advantage of the "upload your own" photo for the ID card since I'll probably have some seriously puffy cheeks, and maybe even some sweet bruising from my wisdom teeth extraction next week... I just hope it'll all be gone by the first day of school... nothing like being a swollen chipmunk face for your first day at a new university... introductions of "No, I don't usually look like this. No I didn't get in a fight. Yes the blood drooling should stop eventually..." don't sound like a lot of fun to me.

I'm still pretty sad that I won't be at the other end of the hall from my Emily. I keep thinking about the first day back, and how I really would like for us to be able to help each other rearrange our rooms, and just chill out in each other's rooms... wow... this is making me depressed to write about! So I'm not going to! That's that.

Other than all that sad stuff, and organizational stuff, and packing stuff, I'M SO EXCITED! I've got ten days between moving, and the first day of school so I am going to get my explore on, and sleep. Yes, sleeping is pretty much top on my list of priorities right now! Then a few days after I get there, my friends from home start arriving [lots of my friends are going to be in the city, or on Vancouver Island as well, just at different schools, but I'll still get to see them!], and I'll get to see them! EXCITEMENT! Now back to packing...

The Whatever Games

I've never been one for games. Gym was my least favourite class, I'm not a big party gamer, I don't do board games really, so why would I play games where relationships are concerned? A lot of people spend so much time worrying so much about being the right amount of mysterious and coy in relationships [of the romantic variety]. I just don't get that! I have a strict "all the cards on the table" policy. I like to know what I'm working with. I don't like surprises. I like to know exactly what is going on, where everyone stands. So when it comes down to a choice on whether I tell someone that I like them, or love them, or whatever, I do. And I'd hope that they did the same. Luckily, as far as my life has been concerned, I've had excellent people who are very upfront about things. No need to skirt around a subject.

The thing is, if I tell you that I like you, and you don't like me back that way, that's alright. I'm not going to hate you [I'm not going to give up hope that you'll ever like me back, so I'm not going to like, start wearing my grey sweatsuit and picking my nose around you]. Yes, I feel rejection too, and it sucks; obviously I'd prefer it if you countered my long winded explanation of my affection with an "I love you too", but don't say it if you don't mean it! I'd rather know exactly how you do feel so I can weigh my options, and decide how I feel about that.

Life is way too short to be sitting around being mysterious. Maybe it's because I base my entire life on Taylor Swift songs... but I think it's wildly important to tell incredible people they're incredible, tell beautiful people they're beautiful, tell the people you love that you love them, and put yourself out there. As discussed with my [incredible, beautiful, and very loved] best friend, life is pretty damn boring, and you're going to miss out on a whole lot if you don't take risks.

And that's that.

Feeling Normal

A little sentiment for a mishmash of a post.

So today has been the first day that I really feel like it's summer. It's probably the fact that it's ridiculously hot - well, hot for me. I'm a "no more than 22" kind of girl, but it's pushing 30 and above today! I'm a hot mess. I've actually taken to my living room floor to keep the heat off, and it seems to be working!

These days there is very little that feels normal in my life... it sounds weird, but having grown up in the same house for 18 years, and now having lived in NS for the past year and put down roots there, it's so strange for me to come "home" and expect to feel normal. Things just aren't normal here! I know I've had the home rant time and time again, but this is a positive step! Tonight is the first night that it feels like my life here.

Maybe it has something to do with my little vacation to my hometown earlier this week. I felt like myself again while I was there. Not even like my university self. I actually felt like I'd never left. I don't know if this is a good thing or not - I embrace moving on, and am doing my best to roll with my ever changing life - but I have to say, it felt good to feel like I was back in my little puzzle slot.

Getting back together with friends, and not having to explain my past, why I am working somewhere I don't consider home, why I went to school 4,000 kilometers away from my family, what I like to do in my spare time, and just being able to have a conversation about the stuff we are interested in, friends, what one another has been up to, what we're excited for, and so on. It's so nice to be with people who know you. And my friends certainly know me - some of them I've known since we were 6 years old! If they don't know me, I don't know who would! It's nice in those moments where you can just pick up where you left off. Some of those moments can be particularly special when you didn't think they'd ever happen again. Sure, attachment can be a dangerous thing, it can stop you from moving on, and getting on with your life, but there's no reason to give up important people in your life if you have no reason to.

Anyway, that's my little spiel about that. I'm just happy where I'm at, at this very exact moment in time. It's a happy place. Then I'll go to bed, and there will only be 17 more days until I get to move to my new apartment, and start my whole new life at my new school... a tad daunting - particularly with the promise of a really wicked wisdom tooth extraction x4. I just hope I'm not swollen or bruised for my first day of school! And I have to remember to take my ID picture before the cutting open of my face...

I just had another completely unrelated thought: can I just point out how amazingly comforting it is to put one's hair in a ponytail and put one's glasses on after a long, tiring day? I don't wear contacts, but I also don't wear my glasses a lot of the time [I'm really bad with it right now, since my frames are driving me mental - I feel like they overpower my face, and they slide down my nose a lot], so when I finally put them on at the end of the day, and can actually read things without squinting, and a whole lot of guesswork, it's always super relaxing. And my hair is finally long enough for a ponytail that I can just do with an elastic, and not a whole assortment of barrets and bobby pins! Win of the day!

Well, that's about all I've got to say for now... I have a feeling I'll be blogging more soon... work is finishing soon, and we'll be back in a time and place where thinking is actually possible - not just napping, and eating. Hope all y'all are having a fabulous August so far!

Some Days I Wake Up Feeling Like...

Do y'all ever wake up feeling like the intro to this song? Literally like the whole world couldn't bring you down, and you may, in fact, puke rainbows and awesome all over everyone you see? Me too. Those are the days when my hair looks awesome and shiny, and my mascara doesn't get all over my glasses lenses. Usually I don't wear my glasses on those days, actually. I'm that good - my eyes are temporarily corrected without corrective lenses.

Me = Machine

I obviously look like this when I run.

So I know my running isn't exactly Iron Woman worthy quite yet, but I have to say that I'm very proud of myself! So I'm going to just have a little gloating session... because 4 weeks ago, I couldn't run for a minute and a half, and now, I'm running 5 minute intervals with 1.5 walking, and it's... well, not a breeze, but I can do it! And I don't hate my life after. I am really starting to understand why people get really into running. You feel good! And you feel super successful, and quite honestly, I feel even better about myself than I did before I started running! My body hasn't really changed, my legs are just getting more muscular, but I feel healthy, and that shows through, methinks.

One of the things that I really love about running, and I explained this to my sister earlier, is that it's half an hour that's just mine. No one can get me do anything, people don't hassle me, I just put in my headphones, and for half an hour, I get to just listen to my music, and have my brain to myself and just think about stuff I want to think about. It's almost meditative. Anyway, just thought I'd let you know that I'm just about halfway to my 5k!!! I also think it's making my hair grow faster. Maybe that's a giant lie... but I'd like to think that it's true.

Life Is Weird

Life is life... that's my favourite phrase. I overuse it like a boss. But today... today I think life is weird is more appropriate. It's full of all these crazy expectations about how we should operate, and I'm just not 'all good' with a lot of these expectations. There are expectations to do with careers, and expectations to do with school, and expectations to do with relationships, and just all these guidelines on how things should work. And the other thing that gets me? The fact that we go through life, and we do all this stuff that we don't want to do, and that we hate, and I mean, yeah, there's basic stuff we have to do to live the way we want to live... but we get what? Like, 80-90 years to live our entire lives, and we spend so much of it doing all this crap we don't want to do, and living our lives the way people expect us to.

As far as careers expectations go, I'm pretty bad for putting those on myself. For the longest time I was all about ambition - I wanted to be a surgeon, a lawyer, a race car driver, you name it, I've wanted to do it [except, perhaps, spider wrangler] - and I wanted to live in the lap of luxury. But now that I've sort of grown up past that stage, I really just want to be happy, and comfortable. I expected myself to want to live in the city for the longest time. It makes sense to want to live in a city! You are close to everything, shopping, arts and culture, all that jazz, but I realized I have no wish to do that. I want to live in a meh-sized town, and have a happy family, in a cozy house, and enjoy the beautiful nature where I live, and have a good job that I enjoy that doesn't drive me crazy when I get home from it.

We go through all these motions to live a happy life, and I feel like we forget that life isn't about an endpoint - well it is... but the endpoint is sort of l-l-lame, for those of us who don't believe in an afterlife - but it's all about what happens you know... in between. This sounds so cliche, but it's true facts! Like, all the ambition in the world will put you in great places, I'm sure, but how much life are you wasting if you don't enjoy what you are doing in the meantime? I mean, I love reading my textbooks for school *pushes up glasses*, and I love learning, and going to class, and all that, so I really enjoy going to university, so it's not a big ol' pain in the butt that I wish was over. Sometimes I catch myself wishing that this summer was over - mostly because I just really don't like work etc. then I remember that it's one less summer I'll have, and maybe that's super depressing, and pessimistic, but it's true! You've got to accept the moments you have. I mean, you don't have to treasure them, and just love every minute of it [ie the dentist], but don't hate, appreciate. Because life is wack.